Warfare is perhaps the single thread that has permeated all of human history. Whether you view war as the unfortunate bloodshed that is necessary to change the world, or as the ultimate demonstration of man’s greed and stupidity, it has some great rhetoric associated with it. Hollywood portrays most epic battle sequences with a speech directly before the action, and sometimes it makes us feel like we’re part of the always under-equipped and outnumbered army. So here is Josh’s Top 5 spine-tingling, ass-kicking inducing movie pre-battle speeches.
5. Aragorn’s speech at the Black Gate from “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” – Up until this point in “Lord of the Rings,” we’ve sat through a movie so lengthy that even the talking trees merited a hooray for some excitement. Following the massively scaled and miracle laden battle of Minas Tirith, we are treated to the even more desperate battle at the Black Gate of Mordor. When this speech is delivered to the men of Rohan and Gondor that face certain death at the hands of the forces of Sauron, you’ll want to go hunt some Orc yourself. That being said, you still can’t excuse the Fellowship’s bed scene at the end of the movie. Favorite line: “A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship – but it is not this day!”
4. Plataea speech from “300” – This speech was delivered at the end of “300” by the ridiculously ripped and one eyed character Dilios who is played by David Wenham. The audience has just seen the death of Leonidas and his 300 Spartans play out, and they took a few thousand Persians with them. Their sacrifice at Thermopylae has inspired the armies of Greece to get together and unload both barrels on the Persians. During the speech, the Persians with 3:1 odds in their favor, are off-screen apparently crapping their pants at the prospect of fighting 10,000 Spartans and 30,000 other Greeks – bona-fide badass. Favorite line: “This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine.”
3. Speech at Area 51 from “Independence Day” – This speech is sure to make anybody want to piss red, white and blue. The city sized spaceships of an alien race have decimated the cities of the entire Earth, and their ships have a shield that protects them from any weapon humanity has. A character played by Jeff Goldblum discovers a computer virus that can disable the aliens’ shields and a worldwide counterstrike against the invaders is coordinated, with the good ol’USA leading the charge with Bill Pullman and an alcoholic crop duster as the heroes. God Bless America. Favorite line: “And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: ‘We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive!’ Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!”
2. Speech before the Battle of Stirling from “Braveheart” – In any other set of circumstances the occurrence of a bunch of men in skirts with blue faces might be seen as a tad peculiar. In “Braveheart,” it’s about the manliest damn thing you can imagine. William Wallace is motivating his Scottish rebels to hold their ground and fight alongside him against the mass of English knights across the field. This speech gives me chills every time, simply for the fact that he acknowledges that his men have the choice to go home and die a peaceful death in their beds sometime in the future, but that staying there and kicking the shit out of the English gives testament to their Y-Chromosomes. Favorite line: “And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom!!!”
1. St. Crispin’s Day speech from “Henry V” – This was the original speech that inspired every “let’s take a few of the bastards with us” type speeches that we know today. Originally written by William Shakespeare in 1599 for the stage, this speech comes from the title character right before the Battle of Agincourt. For the best version of this on film, I recommend Kenneth Branagh’s 1989 version. The historical battle’s details may be different, but in the play, Henry’s English forces are outnumbered by the French 5:1. Henry has to motivate his men to go out onto the muddy field of Agincourt and face the knights of France. Henry’s men are tired, few and the visiting team. I won’t spoil the ending. Favorite line: “We band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.”
