“Family Dinner.”

The lone artwork standing in the center of the Gilson Memorial Gallery is a table surrounded by no chairs but prepared for five people. 

As the gallery lights shine down on the ornate plates and wine glasses, a warped spoon catches the light and reflects it beside shattered glass spread over the tablecloth around a spread of shards of pastel ceramic. 

The table is the central piece in Chelsea Johnson’s senior bachelor of fine arts exhibition “I’m LITERALLY fine.” being held from Feb. 21 to March 4 in the gallery at Emporia State. The show features a variety of mediums exploring subjects including addiction, generational trauma and eating disorders.

“Family Dinner” is Johnson’s representation of the “iconic structure and routine” of a dinner with the shattered dishes being physical objects showing the disruption in that routine. 

“It’s like a literal representation of some things,” Johnson said. “I mean broken dishes were common, but in our good times, family dinner was like how we all came together and spent time together so it was like a very clear two lives existing in parallel so this is kind of a representation of that.”

The dishes were bought by Johnson and were broken by her and her brothers, Justin Mock and Dean Mock. Once they were shattered, she etched a poem into their surface as a way to cope with the feelings she had and move past them, according to Johnson. 

“Walking into the space, it really feels simultaneously quiet and loud and then you get closer to it and you see all the broken things and that’s really jarring,” said Stephanie Alaniz, art lecturer. “And then you explore the poetry within the work and it just keeps getting more and more intense and uncomfortable the more you look at it, and I think that’s the biggest strength of that piece, its ambivalence.”

By creating physical representations of her past and writing original poems showcasing her feelings, Johnson is allowing the viewer to see what many try to hide.

“This is a pretty revealing body of work,” said Roberta Eichenberg, professor of art and galleries director. “It takes a lot of guts to face this kind of thing.”

Other pieces in the show also represent hardships Johnson experienced in life. Her favorite work, “Too Soon” features an ashtray and note and is inspired by her grandparents who died three months apart from chain smoking and always yelled “We love you more” as she left their house.

“A lot of it’s about just like personal life experiences,” Johnson said. “Things that were really kind of at the forefront of my mind. My husband and I recently just purchased a home and started talking about starting a family and things like that and I think that caused a lot of reflection on my experiences and kind of the parallels and the breaking of some cycles and things like that.”

“Watch Me” speaks about breaking the cycle of generational trauma by showcasing glass castings of Johnson and her friend’s daughter’s feet impaled by nails.

“I think breaking the chain is really important,” Eichenberg said. “But we do it by communicating, we don’t do it by pushing it down and saying it’s not there.”

The title “I’m LITERALLY fine.” showcases one of the ways people suffering from trauma may try to bury the parts of them they don’t want people to see. 

“I say it a lot,” Johnson said. “But also because it’s kind of about like, you know, you’ll say you’re fine and you have all these things going on under the surface, but you’re fine for the most part and that’s kind of the image you want to portray to the world so it’s kind of putting those two things together.”

While the title shows a darker side of veiling trauma, it also evokes a kind of relatable humor some may identify with.

“I think it’s a really smart title,” Alaniz said. “There’s some sarcasm in it and it’s funny which I think makes the work more approachable, because it is really intense work.”

Johnson was able to create art that explores her trauma and past in ways meant for viewing, but not everyone is so open with their experiences. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, trauma or an eating disorder, call the ESU Wellness Center at 620-341-5222.

“The biggest thing that I want people to take away is like I want to create a sense of validation and solidarity for other people who have had these experiences,” Johnson said. “But also too, people who haven’t had these experiences but maybe know people who had them and they don’t realize it. Just knowing to move forward with compassion and knowing you don’t know everything that’s going on in someone’s life and just have empathy, and if you see something to reach out and say something too, that’s so important.”