My generation was born into violence.

I was barely two weeks old when 9/11 happened and the death toll during my lifetime has kept rising. We have lived through wars, natural disasters, pandemics and mass shootings. We’ve seen the people who were supposed to protect us fail time and again and the people who were supposed to make change for the better look the other way. We have become so numb to the disasters that happen way too often in this country and this world because it is impossible to go day to day carrying the full weight of every life lost and every promise broken.

On Tuesday, we saw yet another example of senseless violence and preventable tragedy when 19 fourth graders and two teachers at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, were massacred during their last week of school.

When I say massacred, I’m not exaggerating. These nine- and ten-year-olds and their teachers were obliterated by an AR-15 that an 18-year-old was able to buy legally. He shot his grandmother and then walked into an elementary school and destroyed those children and the teachers who tried to protect them so badly that devastated parents had to swab for DNA samples so authorities could identify their children.

And this isn’t even the first time that this has happened in our country.

On Dec. 14, 2012, a man massacred 20 children and six staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I was only 11-years-old when this happened, so I couldn’t fully comprehend the atrocity.

But apparently neither could lawmakers. 

Because the only thing that changed were new doors in the schools and teaching our children how to hide from bad people with guns. 

I’ve seen countless tweets and comments trying to blame the schools for unsatisfactory security measures and calls to arm the teachers. What an absolute load of insensitive bullshit. The answer is not to secure our schools like prisons and leave it up to educators and the children themselves to survive a school shooting. The situation has gone from “if” to “when.”

When a shooter enters the school, remember to hide under the desks and throw staplers at them.

When a shooter enters the school, be prepared to literally take a bullet for the innocent 10-year-olds you should be teaching math.

I was too young to fully grasp Sandy Hook but I have been listening to the stories of people who weren’t, people who are so desensitized to the senseless and preventable murders of young children and teenagers that they just sadly accept it.

Things didn’t change 10 years ago, so why would they change now?

Why would the police that are getting 40% of Uvalde’s budget put their lives on the line to save elementary schoolers when they can tackle the panicked parents that are screaming at them to do something while the shooter annihilates their children for over an hour?

Why would the police know not to have kids call out their location during an active shooter situation but expect those same kids to know by heart what to do?

Why would the police be able to knock down a classroom door instead of having a staff member get a key when they can do that during a drug raid or no-knock warrant? 

Why would the lawmakers that are receiving donations from the NRA send anything but thoughts and prayers via tweet to the communities who will bury their children and the families terrified theirs will be next?

Why would the brainwashed civilians think there is any other answer than “This is what happens when you take God out of the schools?”

Why would any of that change now if it didn’t the last 367 times?

We have lost faith in our leaders. We have lost faith in this country. We are sick to our stomachs but we expect it to happen again.

What the hell is wrong with this country? 

We are so incredibly individualistic and selfish that unless it is our kids being blown to bits or traumatized we couldn’t be bothered to give a damn. The very same lawmakers who could end this like the rest of the world did have children of their own, or grandchildren. But it wasn’t their children who were shot at and they get way too much money from the gun lobbyists and whatever else is on their sick agendas.

And I am calling out both sides. Stop tweeting about your thoughts and prayers or using this as a chance to throw your least favorite opponent into the fire, change things!

Take some notes from the rest of the world so there are no more bullet holes in tiny desks and bloodstains on art projects, so there are no more deadly trips to the grocery store and concert massacres. 

We’ve lost faith in you, so have the human decency to prove us wrong before we have to take another picture of crying children being led out of school by police with big guns and bullet proof vests.

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If you’re angry too, go to this website to contact your representatives and learn more about how to prevent gun violence.

If you want to do something for Uvalde, check out this article.