A lot of you will agree with me when I say that being happy does not always come naturally.
When we’re stressed, when bad things happen, when the news we see is always negative, it’s sometimes hard to find something good to acknowledge. Most people tend to let the bad outweigh the good.
For a long time, I let all of the negative things in the world and my life consume my every waking moment. Even when there were happy moments, they were always overshadowed by my mindset. In the last two years, I have overcome a lot of these issues, but I still find it difficult to not let myself get bogged down by life.
Stress has made its presence known to me. My days are filled with endless assignments and rehearsals and performances and work and classes. I often find that my passions have become a chore.
Last month, for the eighth time in my life, I performed Randal Standridge’s “Choose Joy” with a concert band. In high school, my band played it at both of our spring concerts, large group contest and my graduation as it was our senior song. At Emporia State, I have played it at four concerts.
I absolutely adored “Choose Joy” when I played it in high school, and when I found out that the ESU Wind Ensemble was going to perform it, I was ecstatic. But, by the time we got to my eighth program that included this piece, I was sick of it. Seriously, eight times in three years is kind of a lot.
During our April 23 concert, we got to the encore and I was exhausted and I just wanted to eat and go home. Unfortunately, we still had one more song left: “Choose Joy”
Alright, let’s get this over with, I thought.
We started playing, and I shortly began to realize that this was my last time playing “Choose Joy”, possibly ever. The performance brought me back to playing it in high school, and I thought about how far I’ve come since then.
It occurred to me that I only have one concert left with a proper concert band before I graduate, as it is unlikely I will have an opportunity to play with this type of ensemble after I leave ESU.
Was I stressed? Was I tired? Was I irritated? Was I burnt out? Absolutely. But, performing “Choose Joy” one last time altered my perspective. The experiences I have now are fleeting, and I need to appreciate them while I still can.
A little cliche, yes, but something I needed reminding of nonetheless.
My goal as I enter my final semester in the music program and my final year at ESU is to extend this revelation to the rest of my life no matter how difficult it gets. Things may get better, things may get worse. Life is short, and I don’t want to take anything for granted. So I will choose to find the good moments out of every day, even if they are little.
I will choose joy.
“It is raining as I finish writing this, and I looked out my window just now. Instead of thunderheads, there is a rainbow shining in the heavens.
Even in the darkest clouds, there can be beauty and light.” – Randal Standridge
