Somewhere between who I used to be and who I want to become, I’m still becoming. The in-between is an awkward space to be, and no one really warns you about how heavy it can feel.
There’s a constant pressure to have everything figured out.
As a high school senior, it’s common to hear, “What are your plans after graduation?” but it’s rare to hear someone respond with, “I’m not sure yet.” Then comes college, where the questions change but never stop: “What are you majoring in?”, “What career have you chosen?”
And I assume it never really ends. The expectation always remains, a heavy weight. A requirement to have it all planned, all decided, all perfect.
It’s a force that pushes you to become, to grow, to change; leaving no room to simply stay the same. Growth is good; change is necessary. My point isn’t that either of these are bad.
But why can’t we pause long enough to simply exist as we are? To breathe in the present before moving on to the next version of ourselves? Why can’t we pause long enough to allow for certainty, to allow ourselves the time to decide who we want to become?
Don’t get me wrong, being in the in-between isn’t fun. It’s not a place you want to stay for too long.
It’s full of mistakes, self-doubt, outgrowing old dreams, letting go of things you want to grasp forever. It’s unlearning, feeling lost, and trying to carry parts of yourself that you want to believe aren’t holding you back, but really are.
It’s confusing and frustrating, and sometimes it feels like you’re just running in place. Except what you don’t realize in the moment is that you’re actually learning a lot in the race. Even if it feels like you’re staying in the same spot, you’re progressing. You’re growing, changing, and slowly becoming someone you didn’t exist as before.
You’re becoming.
In the race, if you allow yourself the chance to breathe in, look down at your feet and slow your pace, you find that all along you were becoming, and you didn’t even have to rush. It was never really a race, and you were never truly running in place. You were moving, growing, evolving.
Who you are in this present moment is enough. Despite whether or not you know who you want to be tomorrow or what you hope to do in three years from now. And the truth is you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your future plans.
You’re allowed to just be here now; fully yourself, fully enough, without apologies or timelines.
I think we have it all wrong. It’s not about where you end up after high school, college or the endless deadlines along the way. It’s not about what happens at the end, or even what came before.
It’s always been about the in-between.
That’s where everything meaningful and worthwhile quietly unfolds. It’s not meant to be decided, rushed or finished; it’s meant to be fully experienced and valued in the moment.
Sit in it for as long as you need because that’s where life is actually happening. Let it stay. Allow yourself to change without pressure. That’s where the magic happens, that’s where we all become.
It’s always been about the in-between.
